Can you believe that tomorrow is September? Because, uh, I cannot. I’ve been meaning to sit down and write a blog since May… and now, here I am. Behind AF.

Things have been busy, to say the least. 2021 has been a whirlwind year for me, and I still have an entire 4 months left to go. Where do I even start?

My career has taken a big change this year. At the end of 2020, I accepted a booking for a pro-xxx shoot, something I hadn’t done for several years. It was the first time for a while that I felt comfortable accepting a hardcore shoot. With that newly rediscovered comfort, it set me down a path of giving XXX a serious shot. It’s been at least 7 years since I shot with plumperpass, and over the course of that time, I shot some xxx but never really gave that side of work a dedicated chance. I told myself that I was going to give it a try by shooting xxx for a year to see if I could do it. I did my first self-produced xxx scenes in January and haven’t really slowed down much since. I’ve had the pleasure of working with some amazing talents, including Will Tile, Nikola Ophan, Erica Cherry, Jay Crew, Violet October, Kaiia Eve and more. It’s been a really fun challenge, especially since xxx isn’t where I’ve ever focused my time or energy.

I’ve been viewing this test as a means of expanding my little empire. With the new types of content that I’m shooting, I’ve also expanded the sites that I maintain a presence on as a means of furthering myself as a brand. At the beginning of 2021, I maintained regular content updates on 6 sites, consisting of clip sites, fan sites, and tube sites. Now, here we are in September and that number has increased to over 13 sites. Whew. Ya girl is busy.

I did have a not so fun breakdown about the future of SW due to the OnlyFans shenanigans that happened recently. They warned that they were deplatforming SWers “due to banking issues” but since no other adult site was making those same changes, I called bullshit on it. I believe that they wanted to sell or get more investors, then were told they had a “porn problem”, decided to deplatform us, realized how much value we as SWers brought to their site & their potential investors pulled out because the site lost value in a matter of hours. That’s speculation of course, but thankfully OF suspended their decision. Will it be permanent? I don’t know. But I’m maintaining my presence on OF for now! The back and forth did cause me a lot of extra stress and a not so delightful mental breakdown of sorts. I was really grateful to have support of my partner, my peers, my friends, and my family through that because that shit suuuuucked.

At the end of January, my partner, Cassie Cummings, also moved in. We had rented a house together at the end of November 2020 but she didn’t move in immediately because of a work contract. Living with Cassie has been wonderful, both for personal and professional reasons. We really mesh well together and have a lot of similar interests and we’re open to trying out each other’s interests or trying completely new to us type things. She’s really helped me have some better structure to my work as well since I haven’t had a “normal” job for over a year. We have set working hours and days off, which we try to enforce for each other. It’s really nice to have a partner that understands the importance of time off and self care. Before Cassie moved in, I thought I was good at those things, but turns out there is always room for improvement!

2021 has really been a year for growth for me, personally and professionally. I’ve been doing SW since I was 19 and I turn 34 at the end of October, and it seemed time that I really push myself to make this a more viable career option for me. I’ve spent my entire SW career also working vanilla careers up until covid hit, then I had to pivot to adjust to earning everything just from SW. It’s been a challenge and despite outward appearances, it’s been a struggle. I constantly feel like I’m behind with my work and I’ve had a lot more days when my imposter syndrome takes hold, leading to body dysmorphia, feelings that I don’t belong, feelings that I’m too small potatoes to make this a long term career option for me, etc. It’s a struggle that doesn’t have much regularity to it. Thanks, depression, anxiety & ADHD for coming together in such a delightful way.

I have been really proud of myself for taking time to foster friendships with folks. It’s hard, because sometimes I don’t have the spoons to be social after working so much, but we’ve been doing a few “let’s shoot then hang out!” days with folks. This approach has been really helpful for me to break my cycle of only seeing people to work. Like yea, I’m still seeing people to work, but then hanging out with them afterwards is sometimes really nice. Not everyone I’ve worked with is someone that I have those personal connections with, but it’s wonderful to be able to hustle with a friend then after we make some great content, relax, hang out, eat food together, maybe get a little high, and have a chance to continue to grow that friendship.

Some smaller, less important stuff that’s been going on this year:

• I hit a number on the scale that I’ve been struggling to get to for several years
• Almost all of my vanilla friends + my family now know about my career and are supportive
• I have a kitchen big enough for proper cooking/baking days
• Dita loves Cassie, maybe more than she loves me
• I’ve hit some earnings goals that I didn’t know I could ever hit

There’s been a lot of ups and downs so far in 2021, and I know that trend is only going to continue, but I feel as prepared for it as I can be.