I’ve noticed an influx of submissives who think that just because someone is a FemDom (Female Dominatrix/Domme/Dom/etc), that it means they are also a FinDom (financial Dominatrix/Domme/Dom/etc), as well as newbies who don’t really understand the terminology. It seems there is a bit of a misunderstanding for people who don’t grasp the idea that while the two often do go hand in hand, it isn’t necessary for a FemDom to also be a FinDom.
There’s a saying I was taught in geometry “A square is always a rectangle, but a rectangle is not always a square” which I think is very similar to a FinDom is always a FemDom, but a FemDom is not always a FinDom. I say “always” as a generalization here, because there are some who say they practice financial domination but really fall into other arenas of sex work. For instance, sugar babies and FinDoms may look similar from the outside, but the amount of work required of a FinDom is far less than that of a sugar baby. That’s a completely different discussion for another day, though.
What’s a FinDom?
Financial Domination at it’s most basic/truest definition is controlling (or dominating) someone’s finances. There is obviously not one “true” way to practice this (or any fetish), as to each their own…and it’s important for each person to make it unique to them. But, financial domination can be done in a number of ways… TeamViewer sessions, credit cards in their name for which the submissive pays for, bank transfers, gift cards, etc. For Dom/me’s, it’s a life of luxury on someone else’s dollar without any expectation or entitlement of Our time or attention. It involves sacrifice on the submissive/slave’s part…eating ramen or hot dogs so the Person they serve can dine on $100 steaks or not buying something that they really want so that their Dom/me can go on a shopping spree on their dollar. Financial submission is a glorious sacrifice in terms of living humbly, knowing that they don’t deserve their own money. There are many different aspects of Financial Domination, of course. For some, there’s humiliation aspect, blackmail fantasy or female superiority, as well as other varieties.
Recently, there’s been an uprising in newbie FinDom’s, given popularity of fetishes breaking into the mainstream media and newbies looking at Sex Work as “easy money.” The problem with this is people who mistake sugaring, for instance, as practicing FinDom. Financial domination does not guarantee the submissive anything other than knowing that someone else is better spending their money. Some people exchange “tributes” for goodies in return, but I view that not as FinDom but as payment for goods/services…which is basically the opposite of FinDom.
Ok, so what is FemDom then?
Female Domination (or FemDom for short) is a relationship of sorts lead by a female. In some cases, this is a virtual relationship over the internet. In other cases, it’s a real time, face to face relationship. I’m using the term “relationship” to cover a wide range of many, many different types of relationships. Basically, a female holds the power in the relationship, with their partner (whether male or female) submitting to them in some way, shape or form. In some cases, this is a lifestyle and in others, it’s a profession. I’ve discussed before that there’s a huge difference between lifestyle vs professional, so I’m not going to go into that here.
Female Domination is sort of like the big umbrella term for various practices of domination, whether digital domination, financial domination, foot domination, strap-on domination, etc. You can practice Female Domination without necessarily catering to every single sub-genre of domination. But, generally speaking, if you’re a female (or person identifying as female) and you do any sort of domination, that gives you the title of Female Dominatrix/Domme/Dom/etc. Obviously, it’s up to the individual to choose which umbrella title suits their needs and style best (for instance, I choose fluctuate between Mistress and Goddess). Some FemDom’s engage in humiliation, while some don’t. The term “Female Domination” truly covers a wide range of sins. To submit to a FemDom is to hand over your power to a Dominant Female. To submit to a Pro-FemDom is to hand over power…with a stack of cash to pay for the interaction.
TL;DR: A person who practices financial domination in it’s “truest” form is practicing a form of female domination…but not all who practice female domination also practice financial domination. Still, you should expect to have to pay for the services of a FemDom, whether She practices FinDom or not.
your blog is very good and I like your post.
Thanks for share your post fo findom & fendom
Thanks for taking the time to read it! I know it’s a watered down definition of each, but I hope it helps those not in the know.
I love how easy this is to understand when there’s so many articles out there that are very confusing. Thankyou
thanks doll! great writings. I’m starting to explore and learn the differences, this helped a ton
Love how you’re using the analogy of a square and a rectangle, mathematics the true universal language reads “findom vs femdom” dimension quite well.
Very to the point and loaded with knowledge! Thank you for the enlightening information!
Thanks so much for this
This is a great read. This is something I’ve been interested in for a long time. But did not have the self confidence to pursue.
I know that I’m late to the party lol, but I feel like this is still 100% relevant. “Without catering to every single sub-genre of domination” – yes! On top of that, I don’t even feel like this is possible. You’d get so overwhelmed with the options, it would burn you out quickly.
This was amazing (and straight to the point, thank you)! Just followed you on Instagram! I’m gonna mention this on my podcast, Hoeology (with appropriate credit of course).