Industry vs Lifestyle Fetish, Kinks & BDSM 1


As an outsider looking into the fetish/kink/BDSM Industry, you may think you “get it.” You may believe that there aren’t differences, but you’re wrong. There is a huge difference between Professionals (those who make a living off fetish work) vs Lifestylers (those who do NOT make a living of fetish work, customers of Pros, people who enjoy having whatever kink as part of their life). I get that the differences are hard to see if you’re not walking on both sides of the line (and it is a somewhat thin line). As with anything, if you’re an outsider looking in, you’re making a lot of assumptions about XY or Z without really knowing or understanding. 

Lifestyle

Lifestyle practicers are fantastic. I have learned a lot from my fellow lifestylers that professionals have been unable to teach Me. I have wined & dined and played with lifestylers who have no desire to turn their passion into a profession. But that’s the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Industry vs Lifestyle: passion vs profession. I have encountered many lifestylers who are envious of My ability to make a living out of kink. For some, being a lifestyler is a gateway into being a professional, while for others being a professional is a gateway into being a lifestyler. A friend of mine many years ago tried to explain this as “a professional is someone who makes a living off X, while those who do not make a living off X are amateurs” but I don’t think that’s a fair assumption to make, because “amateurs” implies that someone doesn’t know what they’re doing or that they’re still learning or that they wish to become a professional. That’s why I view the term “lifestyler” as a better term. 

I’ve met many lifestylers who bash the industry, as if there’s some sort of elite status for not “needing” to pay or get paid. I look at it as I don’t need to pay someone to cook for me (as in going to a restaurant), but I LIKE to not have to do it all (preparing, cooking, cleaning, etc) myself sometimes. It doesn’t make me or the professional any better or any worse. It just means that chefs make a living doing something that I happen to have a passion for. 

Industry

Being in an industry (of any sort) requires that you run a small business and know certain things that others don’t. We do a multitude of behind the scenes work that people don’t think about or know about. It’s part of the fantasy, so to speak. Many professional sex workers will try to make their cusomers understand what’s behind the scenes (which I personally don’t like doing, but I know I do it anway). This ranges from getting ready, how much time is spent marketing, preparing, paying taxes, etc etc etc (which is all different depending on the person and what type of sex work they do). To me, all this takes away from the “magic.” In my experience, customers don’t care (or don’t want to care) about this, they want the product or service without thinking about the business behind it, like those who don’t care what country their clothes were made in or what conditions animals were treated to before ending up on your dinner plate. 

 

Sydney Screams

Business Sydney is businessing

 Professionals don’t necessarly have the kinks that they present you (ie, when I produced weight gain videos but have not ever been into Me gaining weight even though I’m a feeder), but it is vital to customers to believe that we do. It’s part of the fantasy that people buy. There are many people who only do what pleases them, no matter the potential income, or people who don’t do certain things because it fits into their business model. I see no reason to judge any group. People within the industry come from different walks of life: they may be “survival” workers or lifestylers turned professionals or people making an extra buck turning their passion into their “side gig” or any other number of reasons/typers of people. Being in the industry doesn’t make anyone any better or any worse, it just means that we have chosen to make a living off kink rather than just have it as a hobby or part of our relationships. 
This is why some events or groups are aimed at specific groups: Munches are aimed at lifestylers who want to mingle with fellow lifestylers. Industry meet ups are aimed at bringing professionals together to network for potential collaborations or just to make friends without facing judgement from “vanilla” people. 

There are a lot of differences at play between lifestylers and professionals, and none of them are good or bad or anything really. They are what they are, and that is OK. Not everyone is cut out to run their own business or understands the work required to be successful. That is also OK. If everyone ran a business, who would be the customers?


Leave a Reply

One thought on “Industry vs Lifestyle Fetish, Kinks & BDSM