I Love You. I Trust You.

This past weekend was Florida Bash, and I was extremely excited for the opportunity to not only have a weekend “away” with my partner, but more specifically, a kinky weekend away. Bash is a long weekend of BDSM/Fetish/Kink classes, demos, dinners, and dungeon time that happens annually around Memorial Day-ish. This was my third year in attendance, but my first year going with My collared submissive partner.

I guess I should pause and rewind ever so slightly? You see, at some point in the last month, I gave My boy a consideration collar. A consideration collar roughly equates to a promise ring, symbolically.


We went to Bash together! Well. Sort of. We went to the beach all day Friday with Chrissy Daniels, and only briefly walked around and socialized that night at the convention. Saturday, we only made it to one class, which was pretty interesting…It was about protocols in the community, and how to work around them if you don’t follow them. As someone who doesn’t follow protocols, it was interesting to hear the thoughts of others who do have protocols, or the opinions of those who also don’t follow them but could give their 2 cents on how to approach various situations.

It reminded me that I’ve been sort of dying to have a high protocol dinner party or tea time.

Lots of other good stuff happened too, though: swimming, dinner, play time with both a cute girl and my partner, catching up with old friends…

I don’t want to bore you with all the details though, mainly because I’ve been pondering over a sentence (two sentences?) my partner said to me Saturday while we were swimming: “I love you, I trust you.”

Which brings me closer to the point of this post: I am slowly learning to navigate a relationship that has both vanilla and kink aspects to it. I’m not expert on relationships, certainly not ones that have both vanilla and kink parts to it. What I do know is this, though…

Love and trust are sometimes two mutually exclusive things to give someone. I have never been in a relationship where there is love without at least some degree of trust, but I have been a part of numerous┬áplatonic relationships where there is trust without love. To play with someone in any sort of kinky environment or manner, trust is paramount. Love on the other hand? Well… that isn’t a necessity.

I’ve heard my partner say “I love you” frequently enough to enjoy the sentiment, question their depth, and return the emotion. “I trust you” on the other hand…I don’t recall hearing that string of words together in a serious tone past the initial “negotiation” stage of us as a couple.

While we are very much so still working out the kinks (literally and figuratively) in our relationship, the foundation of love & trust are mutually inclusive.


I’d love to hear your experiences with relationships that include both vanilla and kink aspects! Leave your comments below or Tweet me @sydneyscreams4u, and let’s have a discussion!