BBW or Not BBW? Who really knows? 1


For years now, I’ve struggled finding my spot in the adult industry in terms of body size & classification. There seems to be this idea that girls aren’t BBW’s if they don’t fit into specifications such as weight or tit size or belly size. It’s hard to remain body positive when there are pressures to look a certain way…and if you don’t then you don’t qualify as whatever title.

Ivy Davenport, Sydney Screams, Whitney MorganIt’s difficult for me to feel like I fit in somewhere specific in the industry. For years, BBW’s have told me I’m not big enough to be a BBW. One even went so far to say that if a model is under 250lbs, they’re not a BBW. I’ve not come close to fitting into that specification! But to the producers who only hire skinny models or “properly” proportioned models, I was too big. For many BBW producers, I’ve been told that I’m not large enough or that my proportions aren’t right. At my largest, I weighed 218lbs. With a belly as large and jiggly as mine, there’s no way I fit in any other category. Being told that I didn’t fit in as a BBW hurt.

I’ve never felt that I’m particularly “good” at being feminine. Shaving & waxing are the bane of my female existence, a vital part of being in porn. The niche for hairy girls is small but throw in the being plus size aspect and suddenly being hairy is frowned up. I didn’t know about how to prevent chub rub until a few months ago, but when you’re a fat lady living in a hot climate, the chub rub is a plenty. It’s taken me years to get my makeup up to pro shoot quality and even still I don’t feel like my makeup is as good as it could be! I have no idea how to style my hair.Loving my body

These things don’t bother me. I’m pretty happy in my skin and when I don’t feel happy, I do what I can to improve what I’m unhappy about. What does bother me is that it impacts my business. BBW fans don’t like that I’m not a gainer or that I’m not larger. Fans of smaller women find me too big. I feel like I’ve created my own little niche and I’m doing as best as I can, but sometimes I can’t help but wonder “What if I fit more into the BBW niche?” or “What if I weighed less?” Try as I might, someday it’s just very difficult for me to feel the body positivity that I believe in.

I believe so much in being happy in the skin each of us are given, regardless of what size or shape or any other defining characteristics people group us in. It’s a battle that I fight each day, trying to find the happiness within my own skin. I hope others know that their struggle isn’t one they face on their own. Working in the adult industry has helped me continue to love my body more, even during the most difficult of times.


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One thought on “BBW or Not BBW? Who really knows?

  • Jeff

    You are in a category all your own! You are not a niche, but perfect. You don’t need to fit into the BBW mold or be smaller. Your body is amazing just the way you are.